11/16/2017
Today, I got the call I’ve been anticipating since June. My insurance approved the surgery and I now have a surgery date. November 28th will be a day to remember. I have a feeling I’ll celebrate this day as whole heartedly as I do my birthday!! From the time I got that wonderful call I’ve been bouncing back and forth between elation and paralyzing fear that produces the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. I would catch myself smiling like a Cheshire cat thinking about how different my life post surgery/weight loss will be. Then the elation turns to “What if I can’t do this? What if I fail?” I’ll feel so stupid for removing most of my stomach and still being fat. Those thoughts manifest into physical symptoms of elevated heart rate, tightness in my chest, sweaty palms etc. I snap myself out of it and try to think of anything besides the surgery. This works for a few mins but before I know it I’m back in the cycle again. I am very excited for this opportunity but I am just as scared. If I were the betting type, I’d bet almost everyone goes through these same emotions. So, tomorrow begins the first phase in the process of changing my life. The wonderful liver shrinking diet!! I’ll update on that later.
Thanks for coming with me on this journey!😘
Marty
